the show was odd. practically bipolar in its approach. ever the hand that gives as it takes away, the academy managed to simultaneously commend and dismiss so many of the exceptional films of last year. it recognized the costuming and art direction of moulin rouge! without even nominating the film’s director. it awarded the makeup and musical score of fellowship of the ring while giving its highest honor to the latest ron howard emota-flick.
time for a disclaimer. i’ve not seen a beautiful mind. in fact, of the five nominees for best picture, i have only seen two. gosford park failed to catch my attention, though many trusted friends have recommended it. in the bedroom just seemed and still seems too depressing for my tastes these days. and i just cannot bear russell crowe.
none of the songs for moulin rouge! were eligible for best song nomination, but still some justice was to be found in that award as randy newman was the single, solitary moment of oscar recognition for monsters, inc., as the first ever award for best animated film was given to the lower quality (and much lower brow) shrek. my friends and i called the best foreign film back in february, just because we know from recent years how politics can influence an outcome. by all rights, the award belonged to amelie. i know this. the academy knows this. if you have seen the film, you know this, and if you haven’t then for the love of all that is holy you need to go now and see it. just go. take the afternoon off from work if you must. but instead, the academy bestowed blessings upon no man’s land. why? because it was filmed in the trenches of war-torn bosnia, and apparently human conflict is more oscar-worthy than romance.
ian mckellan received no oscar, but judging by the the strapping young thing seated to his left, he did not go home empty-handed. cameron diaz was wearing a kimono of some sort with a hairstyle that can only be described as bedhead after a bender. tom cruise was the first one on stage, apparently drawing the short straw when deciding who would make the “in the light of national tragedy we’re still important” speech, and you know i wish i could have had almost-invisible braces like his went i was in high school. and then you have whoopi. dear god, what an abyssmal host. words cannot even describe.
so i guess i am supposed to go see last year’s best picture. perhaps i have been avoiding something earth-shattering and life-changing. but i won’t, because i haven’t. instead, i will look for a theatre still playing iris, or gosford park. maybe monster’s ball, or a rental of training day, because despite what ron howard said, russell crowe is not a “sublime” actor, nor is he a “profound” actor. and for that reason, i am glad denzel washington walked away with a little gold man, because that’s one less chance for russell to try to impress us with his polished thuggery.
on second thought, forget all that. the next thing i want to do is watch in the heat of the night again, because sidney poitier is better than all of ‘em. heck, i’d even go for some brother john right now. or sneakers…. yeah, that’d do just fine…..
