pepsi vanilla – glare-worthy

what? you have to be kidding me. really? oh, come on. you just need to take a good look at that 2nd place “cola wars” trophy and get used to it. you’re attempts to be something outrageous and radical, they fail. one of the primary rules of life is that one should not consume blue food. this also applies to blue beverages. gatorade and powerade? they’re exceptions to the rule because anyone that is consuming either product is doing so with the happy knowledge that both are entirely man-made and not subject to the laws of nature. and now you’ve decided to weigh in with something new and exciting…

pepsi vanilla. you hear that? that is the audible sound of my eyes blinking like giant metal shudders in disbelief. you actually think you’re going to impress or sway those of us who’ve already tried your substantially superior competition? vanilla coke had precedence. before coca-cola put it in bottles, it was asked for in soda shops, in waffle houses and even in trendy bars (though in it’s more potent form of stoli vanil and coke). when was the last time anyone ever asked for a pepsi and vanilla anything? i’m thinking 1976, back when it was the beverage of choice for laverne defazio of milwaukee. but even that’s not true, because laverne consumed pepsi and milk! not vanilla! and only then when she was upset because of something lenny & squiggy said. maybe that could be your new, xtreme idea, eh?

feeling depressed with a big L on your shirt?!? drink new milky pepsi!

[thank you gray for pointing out this abomination.]

August 20, 2003 – 12:04 pm | By Thomas | Posted in Rants | Comments (15)
  • Kathryn

    I’m glad that I’m not the only one who has such a foul taste in their mouth concerning Pepsi. I’ve been boycotting Pepsi since the early 80′s (grade school for me) when they released all of those tacky commercials trashing Coke. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never liked that company at all. To the extreme that I will always order water wherever Pepsi products are served. Maybe it’s a Southern thing, who knows? I just refuse Pepsi on principle. They always seem a few steps behind in the “cool” department, and a few steps below in the class department. Why is that? Discuss. ;)

    On another note, anyone else here addicted to Diet Coke? I think if they figured out a way to inject it via I.V., I would happily pull along the little metal I.V. tree stand for the Diet Coke. They MUST put something in it. I’ve quit smoking easier! And it’s not the caffeine, other sources– iced coffee, other soft drinks, etc. are NOT the same. I’m a Diet Coke FIEND, even catch myself drinking directly from the 2-liter stashed under my desk (talk about classy!)

    After re-reading this post, perhaps Coke will pay for my obviously needed psychotherapy… lol

  • Nikki

    Kathryn, I feel you. I have a monster Diet Coke addiction. And Pepsi, Pepsi is of the Devil.

    “Could I have a Diet Coke, please?”
    “Is Pepsi okay?”
    “No. Sweet tea, please.”

  • JO

    Pepsi was made in the beginning a tummy tonic. I would equate this with Vanilla Flavored pepto bismol.. JUST NO! GROSS. Anything with artificial anything is nasty to me. Especially since chemotherapy.. Except for Coca Cola Icees. I don’t know why. I didn’t usually drink this much coke. Especially frozen. Gatorade used to be my.. I am sick give me gatorade drink of choice, but again not with the chemo. Just coca cola icees and no Starbucks. No aspertame..and definately dear GOD no PEPSI of any SORT.

  • Darrell

    When in Russia, I was (more than once) the recipient of a product called “Pepsi X.” It’s essentially a cherry Pepsi. It’s actually slightly creepy.

  • JO

    Why Darrell do I have this feeling that it tasted like a tums?

  • http://www.changingthestory.com Janice

    Even the commercials are annoying. Who else hopes the axle on that truck with the hydraulics breaks so it can’t distribute it’s icky product anywhere?

  • Zip

    I just wanted to take this moment and say the following:

    “I like TAB.”

    Thank you.

  • Nikki

    Ew.

    I know a religiously off-color joke about TAB . . .Not sure I want to display my knowledge of bigoted humor.

  • Darrell

    Actually, Pepsi X tasted nothing like Tums. Nothing like anything, really. It sort of tasted like, “What the hell is wrong with my Pepsi?”

    And for those of us who choose Coke because we’re Southerners, it doesn’t quite fit. Pepsi originated in North Carolina. Albeit the eastern side, the unfashionable side.

    So it has to do with being from Atlanta. Where (when I was growing up) you often had to explain what kind of Coke you wanted. “I’d like a Coke.” “What kind of Coke?” “A Sprite, please.”

  • http://symetri.org/gray El Gray

    RE: liking Tab.

    You and Darryl Zero. You can keep it.

  • JO

    Then Darrell when you’re a southerner and move up north and you call every cola a coke.. Well it can create interesting dining experiences. To be honest wasn’t there a time in history where Pepsi and Coke were made at the SAME FACTORY?

  • Zip

    RE: RE: liking Tab.

    Your comment confuses me. I do not know this “Darryl Zero” person of which you speak. Is he someone with which I should be associated? Does he also like to run naked through the streets, except for a simple tiara and some sneakers, while singing excerpts from Strauss’ Die Fledermaus? If not, then he’s no friend of mine.

    Regardless, I still like Tab.

    Thank you.

  • http://www.grabbingsand.org Thomas

    Zip, meet Daryl Zero.

  • Kathryn

    Ok, it’s another busy Friday night in the life of a single girl in rural NH. I was sitting at home watching TV, eating my dinner, surfing the net, and got to thinking about the 2-liter Diet Coke in front of me and this string of comments.

    Type in Diet Coke addiction, or Diet Coke problems, in your favorite search engine. I was amazed at how common this is! You wouldn’t believe the number of hits I got, and the scientific research done on aspartame (Nutra Sweet) is scary stuff! Yikes!

    Read this:
    http://www.ibiblio.org/ecolandtech/permaculture/permaculture-list-archives-1999-2002/msg04747.html

    If even part of it is true… Maybe I should start smoking again.

  • lol

    you are an asshole