GRABBINGSAND

To bling ring in the New Year, we’ve decided against the de-Clark’d Regis-athon. Instead, we are making fun of the silly celebrities on MTV’s Iced Out New Year. Our champagne has been modified accordingly …

Word.

Like a balloon, perhaps. One sloooooowly inflated by an asthmatic.

In further recognition of their own error of installing faulty logic books in several iBooks produced in 2002 (including mine), Apple has extended again their warranty coverage of these ill-fated devices. I must use the word “extension” lightly, because this extension feels more like a restriction. The URL is the same as before, replacing the older text, but I can highlight one of the more important changes here:

How long is the Expanded iBook Logic Board Repair Extension Program available?
The program covers affected iBooks for three years after the first retail sale of the unit or until March 18, 2005, whichever provides longer coverage for you. Apple will continue to evaluate the repair data and will provide further repair extensions as needed.

There are some other key differences, but you will have to read the pages side by side to see the changes.

“I presume that we are in pretty good shape. I think our location in the world is such that we may be less vulnerable than other parts, but I am not a geologist, as you know,” Bush told reporters in Crawford, Texas.*

Heck of a presumption, really. Actually, we’re only covered by half. If you’re on the west coast, you’re covered. For those of us on or near the east coast, well … our proposed tsunami warning center is still just an item on the agenda.

The workplace stillness produced by this valley between Christmas and New Year’s Day has inspired in me an unsuspected interest in self-motivation. I still think Chicken Soup is meant to be eaten and Stephen Covey’s plastic smile creeps me out, so don’t expect to find me at the next Tony Robbins seminar. However, the idea of Getting Things Done (GTD) appeals to me. It is a system — a very loose system, developed by David Allen, open to modification and tailoring — for setting and achieving goals. For some, this means file folders. For others, it means index cards or text files or Moleskines. For me … it means I need to do more reading and some experimenting.

As I’ve researched, I’ve uncovered some other things that address the same concern of getting done or getting over or both. One that missed me during a previous and recent tour through the blogging universe is an essay called “Hack Yourself” by Michael Montoure. Ostensibly, the piece is about combatting writer’s block, but the ideas could apply to just about any obstacle that lodges between where you are and where you want to be.

You don’t exist.

You just think you do.

We’re nothing but the stories we tell ourselves. We know in our hearts what kind of people we are, what we’re capable of, because we’ve told ourselves what kind of people we are. You’re a carefully-rehearsed list of weaknesses and strengths you’ve told yourself you have … You owe no allegiance to that self-image if it harms you. If you don’t like the story your life has become — tell yourself a better one.

Cool, eh? And that’s not even the best part of the essay.

The immensity is almost too much to comprehend and more than I anyone can bear. However, we accomplish nothing by quivering in our seats and shaking our heads at the images on television, on the Internet, on the front page of the newspaper. Instead, we should help.

• United Methodist Committee On Relief
• CARE
• Doctors Without Borders
• OxFam America
• Int’l Medical Corps
• AmeriCares
• UNICEF
• Int’l Federation of Red Cross & Red Crescent Societies (Red Cross)
• Direct Relief
• Action Against Hunger
• Save The Children
• Islamic Relief
• Mercy Corps
• Samaritan’s Purse
• Project Hope
• Brother’s Brother

Twenty. Ten. Even five dollars to any of these charities or many others listed elsewhere will do more than you know. The scope of this tragedy is growing still, because the tsunami was only the beginning. History teaches us that nature can be brutally opportunistic in times like these, bringing more rain which brings more flooding which introduces disease and hampers relief. I promise to go back to making clever observations and talking about mix CDs and movies soon, but … just for now, give a thought and a prayer and maybe a little cash to people on the other side of the planet.

More Information: A collaborative blog called TsunamiHelp has been established to provide news and information as it develops and to promote and coordinate relief efforts as they establish. Additionally, the Wikipedia entry for the disaster is updated by the minute.

And one more thing. Please. Remember who is hurting here. Consider the immense loss, then project (if you can) the incredible amount of resources and cooperation that will be necessary to feed, clothe, bandage and shelter all of these people. After that, imagine what they will all need to restore their normalcy and dignity. This is not the time to feign national offense at the misinterpreted statements of an overworked UN official facing the biggest task of his career. Do yourself a favor and put his comment in context. Are we being “stingy” right now, for this catastrophe? No. Should we have a better record of charity over all? Yes. We all should.

The presents have been opened. Most of them. We still have to head to Fort Oglethorpe tomorrow to complete the circle of family and friends, and that will entail a bit more unwrapping and smiling and thanking. So … what did you get? I got a couple of sweaters (very classy and actually needed), some wool pants (again, classy and needed), a few books (the new Philip Roth and America), a Trivial Pursuit game (the ’90s box), a Mr Incredible mug, new shoes (Merrells to replace my originals), a new keyboard for the PC with lights that blink and buttons that need to be assigned, and a few other things. It has been a good holiday, rest assured. It has been sweet to have people smile and remind us that this is our first Christmas together — though actually, it is our third. This one just happens to fall after October’s exchanging of rings.

Meanwhile, the world keeps spinning. I wonder what the news will pick up next, since tomorrow they’ll have to stop defending the sanctity of the holiday in passionate news-bites snapped between blaring advertisements for Pre-Christmas and Post-Christmas sales at every mall, store, kiosk and fruitstand. Frankly, I think that Christmas does mighty well. Those who celebrate specifically and take into account the original meaning of the holiday can do so in this country with reckless abandon.

Want to wish Jesus Christ a happy birthday? Then please do so with all the fervor you can muster and all the lights you can string and all of the tinsel you can hang and all of the navitity scenes you can stage. Want to just enjoy a day off work with a night at the movies and some Chinese food? The choice is yours as well. The brilliance of this holiday is that it is just that inclusive and expansive. You can celebrate or not. You can go absolutely “O Holy Night” insane … or not. You can wish a passerby “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” or “Good Tidings” … or not. If they take offense, so be it. You’re just trying to be nice and unless someone wears a convenient t-shirt with a picture of Santa Claus or The Messiah crossed out on the front, then they’re fair game for your somewhat presumptive but moreso well-meaning kindness. And lets not confuse ourselves into thinking that there is any kind of secret conspiracy against the holiness of the holiday. Without Christ there is no Christmas. Plain and simple.

And it isn’t a game where some other religion’s festival is going to suddenly become the winter holiday prom queen. A pack of godless heathens are not going to replace all of your shepherds and wisemen with Krishnas and Shivas. So while there are other scheduled events during the month of December, you’ll notice that the malls and banks aren’t closed on the Winter Solstice, are they? No. The 25th is the Big Day and will remain the Big Day. I would like to say that benevolent faith-based organizations will always keep it that way, but it will probably be stores like Macys and Nordstroms that keep Santa in vogue. After all … they’re the ones having the big sales on the 26th.

If you’re still not convinced about the immortality of the holiday, you might want to read this piece over at The Morning News.

Any sense of modesty is, in my opinion, unwarranted—Christians have chosen a more influential system of beliefs, so why be bashful about tinseling it up once a year? It must be very liberating to decorate a tree without worrying about being clubbed by Cossacks. I envy that kind of freedom.

And with 20 minutes to spare … Merry Christmas. One more time.

When I was nine, my older brother gave me a 45rpm record. While always generous of heart and spirit, my brother was never much of a giver of material things … at least not when we were living under the same roof. He wasn’t stingy, I don’t guess. I think he just wanted to teach me the value of a dollar, or maybe just the value of his dollars. So this gift was something special, a rare event. The record was in a simple blue sleeve, the kind with the center cut out to show the label. And what was the song?

It remains one of my favorites of all time and never fails to make me simultaneously happy and wistful and nostalgic. It is the perfect song for Christmas Eve, though it is far more of a New Year’s Day song that one for the holiday. Twenty-three years later, it probably hasn’t aged too well and has a post-70s singer-songwriter sheen to it that some might avoid for being too saccharine, but so be it.

With that in mind, I’ll share it with all of you. Enjoy.

Listen to “Same Old Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelberg

And hey, by the way … Merry Christmas.

There is a thread over at AskMe about imagined double-bills. I like some of the ideas so far, but others just lack imagination. In a matter of minutes, I was able to come up with a good handful, so I’m sticking them here for safe-keeping and possible movie nights to be had later.

• Brother John (1971) / In The Heat of the Night (1967) — Sidney Poitier at his fierce best in both. Most have seen the second film, and almost nobody has seen the first.
• Rock & Rule (1983) / Wizards (1977) — Mid-to-late disco-era adult-directed animation, showing a contrast between one of the films that “started” the genre and one that mostly ended it.
• Legend (1985) / The Dark Crystal (1982) — Gorgeous mid-80s fantasy films with a strong Hensonian influence. Both were far darker than anyone expected, having a long-lasting influence on those of us who watched them as kids.
• Say Anything … (1985) / High Fidelity (2000) — Lloyd Dobler grew up, sold his trenchcoat and radio, changed his name to Rob Gordon and opened a record store. You know I’m right.
• The Graduate (1967) / Harold and Maude (1971) / Garden State (2004) — Benjamin, Harold and Large are all lost in life and looking. As a bonus, all three have some of the best pop soundtracks in film.
• Bell, Book and Candle (1958) / Vertigo (1958) – Both starring James Stewart and Kim Novak. Both filmed the same year. Two films that couldn’t be more different.

If anyone has any other ideas, let me know …

Waves of unicorns crashing on the shore? Yes. Storyboards from Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn, now in development.

Tonight is forecasted as our coldest so far. Bundle up. Hold a loved one. Grab a pet.

I’ve finished another mix. This one is unexpectedly seasonal, or perhaps just thematically chilled out. I really intended it to be pretty up-tempo, good for driving and what not. But what started as another attempt at audible caffeine turned into … well … what it is. As such, I’m calling it my official winter mix CD for 2004. (Huzzah! Cue trumpets or dancers or something.) A name? Let’s go with a made-up portmanteau of a phrase like “Winter.Noise.Affective” — this plays off the season, an immediate surprise in the first track and that general malaise that comes with sleet and snow.

So how do you get it? Well, if I run into you in the next week or so, I might give you one. If your name is Reggie and you were one of my groomsmen (that should certainly narrow the field …), you can expect one of these in the mail coming by UPS. Otherwise, you can always politely request one — though I have a horrible history of procrastinating when confronted with a stack of submitted blank CDs. Failing that, you can expect this mix to replace the current tracks in the radio.blog before the first of the year.