I meant to post my reaction to the much-anticipated Coca-Cola Blak some weeks ago, but the idea must’ve slipped my mind. Having just read Amber‘s rather positive review, I believe it is only fair to balance the scales of appreciation.
How is Blak? Well, imagine that you have one of those Dum-Dum Pops. You know, the small lollipops that come in various flavors, distinguishable one from another by color. They’re typically free, and as a result, appreciated more for the novelty of getting something for nothing than for any actual quality. Now, this Dum-Dum, it happens to be “coffee” flavored. Of course, Spangler Candy doesn’t make coffee-flavored Dum-Dums, but we’re in fantasy-beverage-review-land here. Keep up.
So you pop it in your mouth and start walking down the street. The Dum-Dum is small, so there is no need to hold it in your hand. You just let it rest. You feel a bit like Kojak. Telly, not Ving.
“Who loves ya, ba –”
Out of nowhere, someone shoves you from behind. Maybe they’re in a hurry. Either way, the Dum-Dum has taken a candy-dive into your throat. Not pleasant, to say the least. Feeling apologetic and unsure of how to assist you, the accidental shover whips a bottle of Coca-Cola from his pocket and proceeds to unhelpfully flood your mouth with incredibly flat, room-temperature soda.
Somewhere in the back of your mind, behind all of your concerns about choking, your worries about drowning in soda and your developing plan to seek the litigious financial ruin of this horrible shover, you record the taste that is invading your tongue. Candy. Coffee. Flat Coke. Paper sucker stick.
That taste, my friends, is Coca-Cola Blak.
