Category Archives: Rants

Amazon Cloudburst (aka “Nice MP3s Ya Got Here, Hate To See Somethin’ Happen to Em”)

I’ve been staring at my screen for about an hour, keeping this one tab open behind others. I check the news, look at Metafilter, refresh my email, then I come back to the tab in question. At the center of the tab is an implied question. Or a decision. Actually, it is neither of these. […]

Warning: Surly

I’ll make this brief. I forgot my allergy meds this morning, and that’s my own damned fault, so I’m not going to rail against anyone for the burning blaze across my eyes. I could point an accusatory finger at the trees, but they’re just doing what they do and who can blame them? Furthermore, I […]

Don’t Need No Doctor, No Sir

Every morning, this guy is sitting in my mailbox. Every single morning.

A Mini for a Maxi

Really, Steve… this is exactly what we were expecting. Cute. Shiny. Another perfect little piece of ergonomic engineering. So why’d you have to screw up by dropping a big-ass price tag on it? The price you were looking for is more like $100, not $249. For just $50 more, somebody could just go ahead and […]

apocalyptic profit (or foul behavior)

there’s much cash to be made from the so-called “end days” of this fine planet. selling the idea of earth’s decimation is not a new idea. hollywood of the 80s gave us several possible scenarios, most of them dealing with the effects of nuclear radiation or life in a fallout shelter or bands of mutant […]

need billions? send bills

seriously. i’ve got it. after pondering a bit, i was finally able to juggle that aforementioned figure into a shape that i could comprehend. $87,000,000,000. it would take me about 2.4 million years to make that much cash, and that’s even before taxes, but surely someone could cover a loan that big. heck, someone with […]

dear mister president

after so much silence, it was quite a surprise to see you again. sure, i see you around, talking with your other friends and rubbing elbows with the movers and the shakers, but you’ve not talked to me directly in months. when was it? march? yeah. it was march. i thought you’d directed your pre-spring […]

pepsi vanilla – glare-worthy

what? you have to be kidding me. really? oh, come on. you just need to take a good look at that 2nd place “cola wars” trophy and get used to it. you’re attempts to be something outrageous and radical, they fail. one of the primary rules of life is that one should not consume blue […]

darn good

i’m rolling my eyes on a regular basis these days. every morning or every evening. i can avoid it by turning off the radio or looking away from the television, but i try not to be apathetic. so i listen. i hear it. and i am hit with that familiar need to shake my head […]

the war

a good friend, a former co-worker, he asked me today for a little update on my life and times. then he asked me just what i thought about the topic on everybody’s mind. while i’ve talked this over with many people, i’ve not taken the time to lay it all out. so what follows is […]