sometimes i am asked another of those “why” questions. this why iregards this very weblog you’re reading right now. why did you post this? or more likely, why didn’t you post that? or more specifically, why didn’t you mention (insert name here) when you were talking about (insert event here)?
i’m not the only one who gets these questions, or considers the mechanics behind the hows and whys. a recent post on mefi about blogs interfering with jobs led me to a list of five simple rules constructed by stuart at feelinglistless. i think they’re rather brilliant, if perhaps a bit open-ended. so rather than adopt his to govern mine, perhaps i should formulate my own, or at least publish the rules i’ve subconsciously employed.
1. do not assume that friends and relatives want to be mentioned. this may seem cold and dispassionate, but privacy is a rare item these days, a near luxury. if someone does something worth noting, i try to secure permission to use their name before posting.
2. leave your job at work. this is just common sense to me. we all know that anyone can search the world wide web for every instance of a particular word or phrase. most companies have at least one person whose sole job is to seek out every single moment of their firm’s internet publicity. so if you are going to gripe about your job, it’s better to do it in ephemeral conversation over a beer or two. if you have a good story, positive or negative, let it rest until after you’ve left the company. maybe even longer. i have a great one from a year or so ago, but i still don’t think i’m ready to release it.
3. remember for whom you write. this is mine. i share it with you and the rest of the world, but what goes into it is mine. some might not admit it, but writers write for themselves. if i feel compelled to post for nothing more than posting’s sake, i try to step back and remember why i do this.
4. imagine who might be reading. this is not a call to censor, and it might seem redundant after number 2, but realize that the things said here have the potential to reach the eyes of practically anyone. brothers, mothers, sisters, cousins, landlords, bakers, candlestick makers. so if you don’t want aunt matilda to know about the great surprise party you’re planning, don’t post about it.
and that’s pretty much it. i imagine that there are exceptions to every rule, and perhaps i have broken my own from time to time, but those four have helped me steer this thing through the past few years, even through shifts in appearance and purpose and style. and it’s still going, so they must be working…
6 responses to “one person’s rules”
Trust me I’ve learned the hard way. Stick to these.
While I understand why you (or anyone) would err on the side of caution, I have to disagree. If you cannot write about things that are important to you–and I have to assume that friends, loved ones, and employment are important to most of us–then what’s left to write about? Reviews and such are nice, but also why your blog seems rather cold and soulless on occasion. Don’t get me wrong, you do write well, but at times this site seems like an empty shell, and I know you to be much more passionate than that.
Of course, you can take that for exactly what it’s worth, which is not much. And don’t worry, darling, we still love you 😛
I think those are some excellent rules to go by.
There is an old saying however: You show your pride in your choices by the less PRIVATE they are. In other words there is nothing to hide if there is nothing to be ashamed of. Once you start making secs of “private” it has a domino effect on your pysche. You should be proud of all your choices,everything you do,and all the people you know.
My wit for this post is “Private lives are for celebrities.. None of us are celebrities are we?”
write what you want love.
i like the anonymity of your site, too many names and specifics leads to loss of fantasy. It is easy lose the wonder in any good story with too many details. Like when you first read the hobbit, then you saw the cartoon and it was all wrong.
…thinking a bit more about it, I assume those who protest their names not being mentioned wish to be in the spotlight more. I would suggest they start their own site if they wish you to alter yours.